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We’ve all had to pivot in 2020. The unprecedented changes brought to us by a global pandemic stopped travel, kept us indoors, separated us from friends and family, lost lives, and forced us to change as a result. An extremely difficult time that is ongoing until everyone is able to receive a vaccine. The big question that we are now able to answer is “What is most important in our lives?” My answer is and has always been: HEALTH! What else?
Taking risks in life has become second nature to me. At 35 I am starting to recognize my own pattern of change: 7-year cycles. 7 years modeling and I relocate from Tokyo to Singapore to change careers to TV hosting and creating my own fitness brand, 7 years later I again relocated to Los Angeles to change careers to step into motherhood.
It’s exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. I don’t know if I have the energy to do this again, and yet I know I have it in me. I am a shapeshifter, meaning I consciously control the direction of my life through every action, word, and connection. Beyond intention and manifestation, it is doing the work. It’s envisioning what I want for myself through learning, acknowledgment, and a conscious understanding of my thoughts’ ability to make things happen.
I work hard to cultivate comfortability in stillness each and every day. Even while working from home, staying indoors more, and traveling less the horror of less busyness, pausing, space, “doing nothing” comes lurking out of the shadows and it’s uncomfortable. What do I do with so much time and no place to go? After watching everything on TV, eating everything in the fridge, and calling everyone I know I come back to stillness. In times like these, our shadow aspects come into the light and they can be either faced or be ignored.
I have to be honest and true in my pursuits because that is the only thing that makes me happy. I have been through pain, adversity, difficulties, and loss, but I strive to evolve so I don’t get stuck in suffering. I first became aware of “self-work” at an energy session where the healer removed energetic blockages in my body then explained that what I needed to replace those gaps with is love, self-love. She explained, “love is not about concepts; love is about action. Love in action can only produce happiness. Fear in action can only produce suffering”.
I can recount the times I have been brought to my knees, crying out for help until I finally remembered it was only me who could save me. If I loved myself enough I would take action – the first step to peel myself off the floor and take a step in the right direction. Action. That is what has made me stronger. Knowing that it’s within my power to change from misery to joy at that moment. If I can connect with whatever is happening right now and be all the way here then I will be ok.
Some days my energy is off and I am aware and working on that. Just recognizing that I can get there, that I can choose my thoughts, and those become my actions is the first step to getting me off the couch to maintaining myself, my health, and my well-being. If there is anything that the pandemic has taught me it’s that we have absolutely no clue about what’s going to happen and that’s ok. To remain focused on what is in my control and to constantly pursue that for myself is all I can do to be a happier, better, and fulfilled person every day.
There are no plateaus, only hills that we must continue to climb. Sometimes we get stronger and the climb gets easier, but it doesn’t mean we stop climbing. We must continue to strive in the struggle even when life is not going as pictured. Life is a masterpiece and it will be magnificent.
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